Les Affaires de Coeur: April 2008 Archives

The cat keeps climbing into my lap the very instant that I sit down at this computer. I think it's because she knows I am a quivering, frantic, furious, stressed-out mess, and she is trying to help.

Of course, when I am a q,f,f,s-o mess I really do not want anybody touching me. Not her. Not the horrid guy I had a date with last week (ugh, I get the creeps just mentioning it). Not nobody, not no-how. (Points to anyone who can identify the source of that line.)

Thankfully, I had a better, less bizarro date on Sunday night, so I am no longer quite as repulsed by the idea of the entire human race, but not by much, because a client is driving me so crazy I cannot even express it to you. And when words fail me, my friends, you know it is serious.

Anyway, that would and will account for any dearth in verbiage you have encountered or may encounter in the near future. If I come out of this project with my bloody triumphant sword over my head, life here at girlwich may resume some form of normalcy (that being a relative rather than an absolute state, of course).

In the meantime, I leave you with these here random assorted news items.

1. I am knitting legwarmers again. I'm about a third of the way through the 2nd one.

2. I rode my bike all weekend. Huzzah!

3. I have laundry in the dryer. Huzzah!

4. There is a cat paw on my arm. Her way of saying, "Yo! Pet me!"

5. I am giving the men my age a try lately, but I honestly think I prefer the younger ones, so I can't say that any of them have that great a shot. I just thought I'd see.

6. All these dates have made me realize that I am infinitely more entertaining, scintillating, and visually pleasing company than any of the guys in this city (or at least the ones who ask me out) seem to be. Which is a) an ego boost, and b) a problem.

7. It is raining.

8. These pics were taken by a friend to whom I loaned the Nikon. Aren't they nice?

I am in something of a state. Work has gone to some next level of stressful that I didn't know existed, which is funny (strange, not ha-ha) because this very same client sent me to what I had thought was my maximum level of stress a few months ago. And here we are again, except that we are farther onto the plane of insanity.

If I had any hair, I'd tear it out.

Yesterday was so bad that after my horrible meeting there was nothing that could possibly save my life except to get on my bike and go have dinner with friends. Which I did. Of course, the fact that my rare and precious cranks could break at any moment because they are not properly equipped with pedal washers* does not make for the completely carefree biking that I would like to have.

But I had no choice. I hope the bicycle gods will be merciful.

Anyway...that's a whole other story. All of that. I mean, not just the bike stuff, but the whole horrible shebang of shit. Pardon my french, this is not a G-rated blog. Don't like it? On your bike, as the British so charmingly say.

Anyway...again.

One thing the gods seem to be suddenly providing me with is men to go on dates with, all of whom have Biblical names. We started with the old testament last week, and now we are moving on to the new.

If I end up getting a date with the Bodhisattva, though, I am gonna really laugh.

So what do I do with all this bounty? Why, I go and acquire an instant liking for one of my friend's roommates, of course. Yeah, uh-huh. What is it with me and the men in unexpected places? Last time it was a bicycle mechanic. Didn't work. He likes 20-year-olds.

This time, well, who the hell knows, but he is awfully cute, and (based on the impression of 10 minutes) just my type of boy. Anyway....

I know, I know, this post seems to be ratcheting around like a ball bearing set loose in a rubber room, but, well, that's what the inside of my head probably looks like right now. Okay, the inside of my head looks like a soft pink glob of neurons, but you know what I mean.

"Don't want no pork chops and greens. Just give me gin instead!" - Nina Simone, and I agree wholeheartedly.

*Worry not; I have ordered the washers and they will be here tomorrow, and either I or my bike mechanic (not the one I had the crush on) will install them, and all will hopefully be well, at least in that area of life.

Well, well, welly well well. Still here. Kind of blah. Took a couple of days off (yes, that's called a weekend to regular humans), which was a good idea, but only now, after having done so, do I begin to realize the depths of my tiredness.

I had a date today, which had that effect that first dates sometimes have on me. It's not when they go drastically wrong that it gets me. It's when they're quite nice, but I'm not interested. I find that very depressing for some reason. "Close but no cigar" is what my dad would call it.

It's depressing both because I somehow end up feeling lonelier than I did beforehand, and (I suspect this is the bigger reason) because I then have to tell the person that I liked them but didn't like them. And I hate doing that, because I know just what it feels like to be on the receiving end, and there's just no good way to reject or be rejected. It all stinks.

So, I'm rather down. Also, I didn't get to ride my bike today because I woke up with one of my many injuries bothering me - and bothering me to the point where it was clear that I should not do anything to exacerbate it. So I didn't, and it doesn't hurt quite as much now, and that is good.

So here we are, the little feline and me, and we had a nice little super-snuggle moment on the couch (rare these days because I am so busy that I'm a neglectful cat owner), and that made both of us feel better, I think. But still.

I am coming to the conclusion that online dating is much like online shoe buying; nice in theory, but it would really be better if you could try them on in person first.

Well, I'm workin' and I'm crazy, and yet somehow I keep having these moments where I just love everybody and everything. There are several potential explanations for this (yes, I feel a list coming on!):

1. The Bike Is Back. It (he, actually, and he has a name, which I am keeping secret because he is my lover) is on the wall now, but when I first brought him in, I had to roll him into the living room so I could just stare at him lovingly, and gloat over his beauteous and rare vintage French cranks, which match his bad-ass French self. Oh he is so hot.

2. The Boys Are Out. It is spring, and in spring, this city has a habit of rewarding its long-suffering overwintered single girls by unveiling lovely sleek little geek boys for them, in little fits and starts. One here, a few more there, one at the cafe where you'd least expect him to be, flirting as he hands you a menu and ponders whether or not he has any Guinness available, and then screws up your check and promises you a free dinner if the credit card turns out to have been charged twice. Uh-huh, sure cutie. Lemme see those tattoos on your arms again. As he walked away, I turned to my friend B. and said, "Do you suppose he'd fit on my bike?"

3. I am perhaps just a trifle overcaffeinated.

4. I got to sneak in a tiny little bit of girltime tonight, right smack in the middle of my horrid deadlines, and that cheered me up. We were very silly, and we laughed, and that is healthy for me. I like laughing. It feels so damned good.

5. I am going to have a picnic on my birthday, in Brooklyn. It will be fab. I will toss a frisbee with my good shoulder and eat angel food cake. Yay, picnic!

6. If my knees hold up (please hold up, guys!) I can stop riding the subway. Yay!

7. My exotic French cranks have exotic French threading, which means I couldn't use my spanking new (and very nice) English-threaded pedals. A minor bump in the road which ended, entertainingly, with my bike builder taking a very fine antique pair of pedals off one of his own personal bikes and selling them to me, at about half what they're worth. I love him and he loves me (platonically, in both directions).

8. When I got home, I realized that my bike had given me a hickey (from the messenger bag strap). The funny thing is, so did the Nikon when I first got it. See? I love everyone, and everyone loves me.

9. Okay, okay, I will cut back on the caffeine.

10. But you do see why I love the Nikon so much, don't you? Claudia, these are again taken on auto exposure, sans flash.

Spring, and a Girlwich's thoughts turn to (in no particular order):

1. Legwarmers. I have finished the brown ones and am currently wearing them (or I'd take their photo for you). They are wonderful. I want to wear them all the time. Because that would lead to smelly legwarmers, I have already begun knitting Pair #2, in a pretty pinky/purpley Lornas Laces DK called Valentine I received from Anna a wee while ago. Anna, they're going to be beautiful.

2. Birds. My cat would like me to mention that. It is highly amusing and/or endearing to watch her get all excited about the increased bird noise and activity around our windows. She chatters at them; she lies in wait, hunkered down on the window ledge; she takes sudden leaps into the screen. It's hilarious.

And I quite like going to bed to the sound of birdsong. Yes, Annabelle, I am going to bed at your wake-up time again. Really folks, it's a hoot; A. will text me sometimes when she's just woken up, and I get the text in bed, having just laid down to sleep. And we have a little chat, and she goes to work and I go to dream about #3:

3. Boys. You knew that one was coming, didn't you? Been getting some entertaining emails from a new one, whom I've not met yet. But at least his emails are interesting - more imaginative than the usual lot. Also, there are the fleet of adorable bike boys who hover like a crowd of angels or elegant moths in the vicinity of my bike shop. Sigh. I wonder how many of them I could fit in my messenger bag.

4. There are cherry blossoms in Central Park now. All of a sudden, boom. Explosions of fluffy whiteness everywhere. Like snow laid on by fairies. (I know, I am getting fanciful, but you should see them.)

5. God-damned awful work schedule keeping me from enjoying all of this a bit more, but I suppose I am lucky to have the work. When I did my taxes and looked at how much I made last year, I was shocked, and couldn't understand how I'd actually managed to survive on so little in such an expensive town. I guess I must be better at managing money than I'd thought. Or else I wiped out more savings than I thought. Or a little from column A and a little more from column B. Anyway. Let's just leave #5 by the side of the road and hope it gets run over by a local bicycle team, shall we?

6. Not entirely unrelated to #3 (math geeks, there is a joke in here for you): I have a few additions to The List. Item the First: David Oyelowo. Oh my fracking god.

Item the Second, Robson Green. I know, I've mentioned him before; he's been at or near the top of my list for years, but his series is back on with new episodes, and I am getting a fix every Sunday night, so I must present him again for your enjoyment.

Items the Third and Fourth, Sam Troughton and Jonas Armstrong, who play Much and Robin, respectively, in BBCA's retelling of Robin Hood as a form of teen rebellion. It's marvelous, and the concept works, and it has a lively, independent Marian in it, too. FYI, I put Sam first because I find him hotter, despite his being relegated to the status of sidekick.

And while I am slavering over BBC actors, puckish little Burn Gorman from Torchwood is a bit of alright, too.

Since it is spring, I am taking open nominations for new List members. Vote early and often, my friends. Tell me whom you love and why I should love them, too. In fact, let's make it a meme. Give us your To Do Lists, be they ever so quirky, kinky, or plain. Please alert me if you blog about your list, because I love to read such scurrilous matter. Behold, it's a Rite of Spring!

* The title of this post is a Nemo quote, from Dude Crush the turtle. He's on my List, too.