Cooking Things: February 2009 Archives

Sometimes I am so happy with the simple things. I'm almost surprised to find myself saying this, but at the moment, I feel very content.

Making myself a giant vat of soup (lentil-tomato, because it's what I've been wanting all winter long), got a bunch of beautiful yarn I'd ordered in the mail today, and the colours are so lovely, all of them. Made some important phone calls that I'd been putting off for weeks. I don't know why I was able, suddenly, to get things done; I just woke up willing.

Could be that the smell of soup is inherently soothing. Or the process of mixing and cutting and sprinkling. I've written about how I like that before. Though tonight I was in a hurry with it, because I was hungry, so it's not like it was a leisurely thing.

Maybe it's because I think I know what I want to do about that situation that I'm not telling you about. And maybe it's because the thing I want to do is so simple and direct, so honest.

Neither kind nor unkind. Well, actually I think it is kind because I think people deserve to hear when they've hurt you, so that they can understand and maybe do better the next time. I think it's kind to give someone the benefit of the doubt, to assume that they aren't trying to hurt you, but also not to let them go on thinking that they've done nothing wrong, either.

So I think I will just tell him. I will give him a chance to be my friend, rather than chilling him out, or pretending it didn't matter to me, or any of those more drama-laden postures that seem more appropriate to middle school than to adulthood. They don't lead to understanding, and they never really make me feel any better, either.

Anyway, that's my idea. We'll see how it goes.