Mes Ami(e)s, Mes Amours

There's a phenomenon among people of my generation that's been described as "tribe formation." In simple terms, it means that people my age (roughly members of Generation X, for those who are wondering) have a tendency to form strong bonds with their friends, and to view them in a way that previous generations might have reserved for biological relatives.

There are plenty of reasons for this, some sociological, some to do with individual personalities. In my case, it's largely a function of my innate longing for solitude, combined with a desire to spend my time mostly with the few humans whom I feel understand me - or at least part of me. It's not so much likeminded souls, as that implies that I only want to be around people who share my opinions on everything, and really, I often find it more interesting when my friends have different ideas, because then we can discuss.

But to put it more succinctly than I have in the past two paragraphs, I have tended to choose friends over family whenever I had a choice. That's changed a bit in recent years, as I've developed different, more interesting, richer relationships with everyone in my immediate family, but I still really, really dig my friends. I choose them carefully, and I tend to have a few close ones rather than a passel of arm's length pals.

Anyway, several things occurred today that put my friends front and center in my mind. And funnily enough, they coincided with a bunch of crazy things happening in my family that are gonna require my immediate attention and a significant expenditure of energy.

#1: (yeah, you knew there was some kind of list coming, didn't you? even though I hadn't necessarily foreseen it myself): This post of Shannon's. Yes, that was me, and it was a secret Rhinebeck gift I'd been sitting on for a few months waiting till I'd finished her friend's cap and finally, finally got to send.

#2: This post of Cari's, which I think is just an incredibly neat idea, and a swell piece of writing to boot. I may have to do that sincerest form of flattery thing at some point and start posting little tidbits of my own, because the concept rocks.

#3: I started some zippity knitting on the Welcome Back scarf (cue the Mr. Kotter theme for those of you who are old enough and/or nerdy enough to remember it; the blonde could sing all the words, I am sure - not so much because he is nerdy [he isn't] but because he has a weird talent for knowing the words to television songs), having realized that Friday is the recipient's birthday, and would be an appropriate time to present her with said present.

#4: I have recently realized that most of my closest friends now live in the city, following several years of diasporic tendencies. This is a very hopeful feeling, especially since one of the things I used to find hard about being here was the random loneliness that would hit and hit hard. It still does, to be honest, but it's less of a strain when there are things like birthday parties and dinners at friends' apts and movie nights and wine nights and so on to look forward to.

#5: My sister needs my help, and I have to go help her. I would honestly rather stay home, but she is scared, and I would be, too. And I love her. So there will be late-night posts from the lavender room in her pretty house.

It's weird, the ways of friends and families, and maybe it doesn't matter where the people who enter your heart come from. It's more important that they're there, isn't it? (That goes for rambunctious, affectionate, darling, demented little cats, too.)

PS. Oh gad, how could I forget today's most important detail! I ordered this for Snow White, and many thanks to Shan (she of #1, above) for lending me her Ravelry account so I could do research! So helpful. And so much frickin' fun that I put myself on the waiting list, at last.

PS2. A couple of longtime readers (bless your hearts; I love you) have asked what happened to my nearly two years' worth of old posts (yikes; time flies and all that). They do still exist (um, I think) somewhere on my messy server, and they will eventually reappear properly archived right here on our stage, but I have to cut-and-paste them all in by hand, for reasons best known to Movable Type and best quietly ignored by the rest of us, lest they waken the sleeping tiger in my breast and I go on rampage against the vagaries of technology and generally just tear up the joint.

PS3. The subtext of items 1 and 2, is, of course, that I have been noticing that some blog friends can turn into real-world ones, and I find that both remarkable and lovely.